Our Last Reflection

Tonight was the night we have all been dreading for the entire trip.  We have pushed it into our subconscious, avoiding the negative energy which comes with the ideas of having to leave our home away from home. 
  At our final reflection tonight, I knew that I would find closure by talking with my friends about all of what I had learned and experienced.  My expectations were fulfilled.  There were a lot of tears tonight from many different people for many different reasons.  Of course, we all don't want to leave and we all have our reservations about returning home.  But I think we all have gained a lot here, and together at reflection we pooled the lessons we learned.
  I was among those who cried.  As I spoke it came on me in a rush when I adressed the group and opened up my soul to them about what New Orleans taught me this year.  I can trust them with this because I know they understand the way that this trip can change a person.  I am so glad to have people who share my experiences.  We carry what we have learned together.
  I continued to cry through out a good portion of reflection.  I was thinking of my dread of returning to school, my despair at leaving New Orleans, and my sadness at not being able to spend every day with my  friends any more.  But I am a firm believer that expressing your emotions helps you deal with them.  So as I cried and cried, I felt myself lightening.  My heart grew a little warmer, and the lump in my throat disappeared, and the nausea I felt as a result of my overwhelming emotions began to weaken.  Working through the tears, I now realize, was the only way to feel ready for the oncoming weeks away from New Orleans. 
  I am now happy.  I feel ready to go back to Townsend and carry in my heart and soul all of the lessons I have learned here, and maintain all the friendships I have been blessed to gain here.  Reflection is so important to this group.  I especially understand that now.  We communicate with each other in a place free from judgement about issues which we need to express.  No where else is there such safety for expressing emotion as around the fire in New Orleans with these amazing individuals.   I can breath again and be joyous because I have listened and been listened to by some of the greatest people I have ever met. 
  Thank you to these people, these friends. 
~Colleen Schroth